Resolution. A forgotten word. Now. From the Latin resolvere, ‘to loosen, undo, settle’. Ooh look italics! One New Year’s resolution done! Use more italics. Sophisticated. Tick. But not too much more, that would be a slippery slope. Like the letters themselves. (should the word italics be written in italics?)
The word ‘determined’ is often linked with the word resolution. Example; “I am determined to loosen my list of New Year’s resolutions”. Another example; “I am determined that we will come to a resolution and settle this dispute”. A bit unrealistic that example, I admit.
A play on the word January has replaced the word resolution. Veganuary, for example. Where, apparently, you can be plant based for a month. All that cheese will brie a sigh of relief by not being hunted for a whole month. Parmesanuary? Grate joke! Odd phrase that, plant based. Was Tarzan plant based? After all, he did live in a tree. We stock a very good range of vegan and plant based goodies for those that are full or part time. Devon Mist is vegan. My resolve is strong. I am Cidermanuary!
Apparently there was a thing called Dry January. Yes, I know. I am contractually obliged to mention it. We didn’t see a significant drop in the sales of drop sold. It is now February derived from the Latin word februum (yes, so sophisticated!) which means ‘purification’ and this fact heightens my campaign to forget all that January nonsense! Just extend Christmas into the new year, quaff all leftovers both solid and liquid, wanted and unwanted, then and only then purify yourself in February. It makes so much sense. It’s a shorter month for a start! The healthy options in Sandford Community Stores are aplenty. Start the day with Bran Flakes, muesli or porridge. Locally made Midfields Granola or croissants supplied by Olivers Bakery. Lunch? Not ‘brunch’, a made up word for people who don’t want to get out of bed before 10 o’clock! Kallo Rice Cakes, Ryvita or Finn Crisp Sourdough Thins smothered with cottage cheese, houmous or pate. An afternoon snack? Nakd Bars, Sesame Snaps or Fruit Snack Bars. Your Quorn quota for later is a very healthy evening meal. Lots of goodness available in Sandford Community Stores.
Slap bang in the middle of February is St Valentine’s Day. Gentlemen, to try and prevent the potential massacre, please pop in for advice. Hampers are nice, filled with treats or smelly stuff. (not socks, you’ve only recently done those.) I know it’s not a leap year, you’re safe, but make some sort of effort. A card and some chocolates a bare minimum. Ladies, I couldn’t possibly comment. More than my job’s worth.
Ps What did the octopus say to the other octopus on St Valentine’s day?
I want to hold your hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand!